The weight of the world was slowly pressing down on me. Each morning I watch 30 minutes of news, which is more than enough to be reminded of the broken state of our world. I was feeling burned out at work. This was compounded by repeated network failures over three weeks after changing to a new servicer. The praise team I am a member of at church, became a source of recurring conflict and confrontation. My husband was dealing with the fallout of recent layoffs and restructuring at his job. Lastly, my son had admitted he was questioning his faith and was stepping away from the church. I was spiritually dry.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30
In January, I had volunteered to be a part of a medical mission trip to the Dominican Republic this November. It had always been a dream of mine to serve as a part of a medical mission. Of course, things didn’t go according to plan there either. We were notified in the Spring that the government would not approve our admission, and we would need to find a new location to serve. The group had previously served in Panama, and their coordinator was more than happy to have us. So we went with plan B, we would go to Panama in October. That also meant the timetable of payments was moved up. Part of the restructuring in my husband’s job meant taking a pay cut. Shortly thereafter, we learned that an error in tax withholding meant we owed an additional $11,000 in taxes this year. Inflation continued and our utilities and homeowners insurance went up which meant our budget was wearing thin. Then, the beginning of October brought news of additional complications:
We just want to tell you that we have been busy working and getting everything ready for your team, but we would like to share with you a couple of situations that are affecting us that are out of our hands and we certainly ask for you to pray:
– As of October 2nd Panama Migration authority has increased the security and requirements for people to come into the country because of the extraordinary flow of irregular migrants that come through the jungles from Columbia and go through Panama on their way to the USA. There are more than 5000 people that come irregularly everyday. So that has produced a big problem for the migration authorities, society and government.
– I have been trying to confirm the set up and plan in the area where we want to serve with your team, but for more than two weeks the road that gives access to this area has been blocked by an indigenous tribe protesting about something the government wants to build in their territory. Even the ministry of health in that region has not been able to send us their approval because they have not been able to get to their office all this time.
We have been working with the church leadership in this area as we are trying to find ways to move forward with our planning, but it has been a challenge. We have more meetings Monday and Tuesday and we will need to make decisions as to how to move forward.
As the week of the trip approached, people began to ask if I was excited about the mission trip. Honestly, my heart was heavy and my enthusiasm had waned. I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted.
Like Peter (Matthew 14:22-33), I was frightened by the wind and waves that surrounded me. I’d taken my eyes off of Jesus and I was sinking. Yet, all I needed to do was cry out “Lord, save me!” for him to immediately reach out to rescue me. I had forgotten the power of prayer, but God had a plan to remind me. Again and again, I watched God exhibit His power to work all things together for good according to his purpose.
- The province of Bocas Del Toro had not had missionaries in five years. Our change in destination was an answer to their ongoing prayers for God to fulfill this need.
- Six days before departure we were notified that the Ministry of Health had granted us permission to serve in Bocas Del Toro as we had planned.
- An uprising of the citizens of Panama began after we made it to Bocas Del Toro. This closed down government institutions including schools. Local volunteers filled our desperate need for registration help and interpreters.
We had the opportunity to experience the needs of those we served. We worked alongside them through the rain and heat, and witnessed their public health obstacles and challenging living conditions. Some patients traveled up to a day, often on foot, to be seen in clinic.
Our days began early and ended late. We were always thankful for toilets, but rarely did they flush or contain running water or toilet paper. Sweat and bug spray became our perfume. Yet, I felt more energized and spiritually alive than I had in ages! I felt a new appreciation for the blessings in my life, and for the abundant resources for patient care that I so often take for granted. I was humbled by my immersion in a language that I didn’t understand. I could now understand the struggle of my Spanish-speaking patients back home. Our differences didn’t matter because love covers a multitude of weaknesses (1 Peter 4:8). It was awe-inspiring to see the transcultural body of Christ in action!
I witnessed the miracle of loaves an fishes take place in our midst (John 6:1-14). Our plan had been to see a total of 600 patient over 4 days. We had prepped medication, gifts, hygiene kits, and Bibles for this number. By the end of our four days we had seen well over 800 patients. We had enough supplies to satisfy the need and still had medication left over to donate! Although people came for physical healing, the clinic provided a means to share the gospel and prayer with the community. As a result, 55 people turned their lives to Christ and were connected with the church. Still, God had more to show me.
Each obstacle in our path had crumbled before God when we devoted ourselves to prayer. Yet, this was never more clear than when it was time for us to leave. Changuinola is a 12-hour bus ride from Panama City, where we were scheduled to depart. Unfortunately, the bridge for the only road out of the city was blocked by protestors. All available options were explored with a tentative plan to take a boat to an island with a small airport and fly back to Panama City. We left at 3 AM hoping to pass before the blockade began, but to no avail. The bridge was guarded and blocked with vehicles and logs and protestors refused us passage. After extensive negotiation they agreed to let us pass on foot, but no vehicles.
We still had a twenty minute drive to the marina and limited time to make it to our flight. Without fail, God continued to make a way. A bus driver had taken a wrong turn that morning and ended up on the opposite side of the blockade. He agreed to transport us to the marina for $3 per person and help us transfer our luggage. We made it to the marina and to our flights with time to spare!
These experiences revealed truths that I had forgotten:
- Spiritual warfare is real and it is waged on us everyday, even though we often don’t recognize it.
- There is strength in our weakness. When we realize our human weakness and frailty and choose to rely on Jesus, he makes us strong.
- We fight hardest when we are on our knees.
- We are so much more than our greatest successes or failures. Striving after the things of this world will always leave us empty.
- My identity is found in Jesus and my purpose is found in the lives he allows me to touch.
I truly believe I benefited from this experience more than anyone I served. The joy, love, and hospitality received from those who hosted us serves as an inspiration. This experience brought much needed spiritual refreshment and reignited my smoldering flame. The enemy fights hard, but our God holds the victory!
Seek and You Will Find 